Still here. Kind of.

So yeah.
That “fresh start” I wrote about in April.
Didn’t really happen.

The last year was crap. Not dramatic crap, just the kind that slowly drains you.
Energy, focus, motivation. Gone.

I started this new job. Great team, seriously.
But everything else? Chaos. No structure. No deadlines. No one followed up on anything.
So many “we should plan this” or “let’s talk about that” — but it never happened. Not once.

At some point I started thinking half the team had ADHD too.
Which would explain a lot. But still didn’t help.

Continue reading “Still here. Kind of.”

A Fresh Start

Not that I believe many people actually saw the first posts I published here — but for the handful who did, you might have noticed the project died right after it started.

Back then, life was a bit… wild. A lot was happening, and even more has happened since. I moved countries, changed homes and jobs, and honestly had a pretty terrible twelve months overall. Only recently have I started to feel a little calmer, a little more able to deal with all the interesting and challenging things many of us neurodivergent folks know all too well.

One of the most common ADHD hurdles is sticking with a project once the initial excitement fades. It’s like building a rocket in a week — only to leave it half-finished in the garden because you suddenly remembered you also love submarines. Been there. Still there, sometimes.

Long story short: I feel more than ever that I need to write things down.

Continue reading “A Fresh Start”

#Two

The severe storms and towering waves battering Europe’s western coast during the last few days have greatly mirrored the turbulence within my mind, a reflection of not only nature’s fury but also the ongoing turmoil in the world.

Gradually, with my tension increasing as the depression and its stormy tentacles moved closer over the North Atlantic, my thoughts became as unsettled as the brewing storm, with an undeniable sense of impending change.

My mind, like the roaring sea, was overwhelmed by waves of anxiety and frustration, refusing to calm, and the uncertainty of the world, marked by conflicts and wars, added to my restlessness.

Much like ships navigating turbulent seas, I must ride the waves of my restless mind, as I have no other choice. The last days, however, were a reminder that even in the face of external turmoil, I have the power to find balance within. I turned to meditation, my favourite books, and (remote) conversations with close friends and this provided moments of peace in a world marred by conflict.

As the European weather calms, so does my mind. Life’s challenges, be they the storms in nature or the conflicts in the world, remain, but they remind me to embrace restlessness while seeking inner peace.

#One

This marks the beginning of my personal journal, where I delve into the unique challenges I face as a neurodiverse individual navigating a fast-paced world. Entries in this diary might encompass sporadic musings, thoughts, and inquiries—ranging from rational to philosophical. They are an introspective dialogue, meant solely for my own reflection and understanding.

While they may not resonate with anyone else, these entries serve as a private exploration of my thoughts and experiences.

About

Hello, I’m David, and like many others who have found their way to this blog I’ve had quite the journey in the 50 years of my life. Let me share a little about the challenges and the path that’s brought me to where I am today.

Relatively late in my life, at the age of 48, I was diagnosed with ADHD. It was a revelation that explained so much about the way my mind worked. Growing up in the countryside, in a family of academics, school wasn’t always a smooth ride for me. Like many children with ADHD, I faced all the common difficulties, struggling with focus and often juggling various interests and projects without ever seeing many of them through to the end.

Leaving my parent’s house at the age of 18, I ventured into my first own house, an extremely exciting endeavour at this age and without a real perspective. I then embarked on a 4-year professional education journey in a creative field, which I successfully completed. Since then, I’ve mostly worked as a freelancer in a creative industry, my entire career being under the influence of undiagnosed ADHD.

Continue reading “About”

The Chased Mind

Restlessness is often viewed as a negative trait, associated with agitation and unease. However, within the realm of the mind, restlessness can be a powerful catalyst for growth and exploration. A restless mind is one that refuses to settle for the status quo, constantly seeking new ideas, perspectives, and experiences.

The restless mind is a fertile ground for creativity and innovation. It refuses to accept conventional wisdom and continuously questions established norms. Restlessness pushes us to think beyond the boundaries, to challenge the known and explore the unknown. It is this unquiet nature that has driven humanity to achieve great feats, from scientific discoveries to artistic masterpieces.

Continue reading “The Chased Mind”